As someone who worked on a sizeable open source project, I sympathize with all of this. For me, part of growing as a person and making my own life easier were two things. First, to not hold everyone else to your own standards. That is, don't expect anything from anyone. Life gets a lot less disappointing that way. The other is to stop dwelling on what other people think. This one is hard, but if you can truly get there life gets a lot less stressing, programming included - you don't take such offense to the trolls. I think it's an unspoken part of aging and learning. You rarely see a shy old guy in the locker rooms.

All that said, as a complete aside, I have tremendous respect for Mr Gallant. Everything he writes is gold, and if you haven't yet, I'd recommend taking a look at his awesome open source projects.