Your sense of humour probably tipped them off about the knife, not the techonogical equipment or the enhanced grope test. I'm sure they were very threatened by meeting a socially well-adjusted person.
The bottle of water didn't cause me any trouble in Europe, but I had real fear after having previously had a terrible run in the US both with the Thug Squad and Immigration.
I don't know if you have a doctorate, but I can tell you that this is a big red flag. As I said above I don't travel to the US for any reason any more. I once saw a girl who couldn't have been more than 16 who had collapsed on the floor in tears because of what I assume was the abusive verbal treatment she had received. She was literally dragged right across the floor of the room by some fat prick holstering no less than two weapons. She was clearly frightened out of her brain. I was then singled out for obnoxious treatment by a different troll for absolutely no reason whatever. I made it through the barrage of verbal accusations and threats, but shook for about an hour afterwards. You just know that you cannot so much as raise your shoulders or flare your nostrils without having the moron escalate his creative fiction and possibly deport you. They love that sense of power they get. You have to stand there submissively and not let them get a rise out of you all the while insisting that they are wrong.
In contrast, I have never had an issue with immigration or the equivalent of the TSA in any other country. I did once get a secondary interview at immigration in Europe by some shadowy figure from some secret service. It was as bizarre as you might imagine. He had the emblazoned vest, the earpiece, the whole kit, and he asked me random questions about my past. But it was polite, short, not at all frightening and it was pretty clear that he wasn't there looking for people like me. (Who knows what these people get up to. I'd not seen them at an airport before and have never seen them there since.)
I don't think I can do that sorry. I'd have to talk about more than US Immigration. In particular I'd have to talk about two institutions which had nothing at all to do with the problems I experienced. I don't want to repeat the nonsense that was flung at me by the troll.
I don't think I mentioned two of the worst incidents that I experienced at the height of two security scares quite a number of years ago in the US. I can talk about those. On one occasion I had contact lens fluid confiscated. At the time I had $240 long life contact lenses. These were not designed to be worn all day and all night, but my flight was a long haul. During the flight I developed a minor eye infection from having to leave them in. When I had argued with the security people over this I was told bluntly that US National Security trumped my health and financial well-being.
On a second occasion I was travelling to the US and would then transit to an internal flight (either that or I was on my way to the US and had to change flights mid way -- I don't recall any more because it was too long ago). En route I was told that due to snap TSA rules that when in transit between my two flights my laptop would be siezed and that there was no means of returning it to me. I was told that it would most likely be destroyed in a crusher.
I don't know of any other people who this happened to and I didn't see any news articles about people being told this. It seemed to happen because they were making up security rules ad hoc due to a major security scare. The cabin crew seemed to have been fed this info just before the plane took off. I spent the entire flight consumed with worry that I would lose not only the laptop, but a large amount of my work which I had foolishly thought was too important to make any copies of anywhere. I had actually toyed with the idea of convincing someone that it was cybersecurity research of vital importance to the national interest. But short of me making a pretty astonishing breakthrough during the flight, the latter part of that wasn't really true. Fortunately, all the worry turned out to be for nothing. By the time the plane landed, sanity had been restored and my laptop was not confiscated.
It seems that the TSA and US Immigration didn't really want me to travel to the US. Not returning to the US certainly solved the problem. I haven't had any problems with them since.
The bottle of water didn't cause me any trouble in Europe, but I had real fear after having previously had a terrible run in the US both with the Thug Squad and Immigration.
I don't know if you have a doctorate, but I can tell you that this is a big red flag. As I said above I don't travel to the US for any reason any more. I once saw a girl who couldn't have been more than 16 who had collapsed on the floor in tears because of what I assume was the abusive verbal treatment she had received. She was literally dragged right across the floor of the room by some fat prick holstering no less than two weapons. She was clearly frightened out of her brain. I was then singled out for obnoxious treatment by a different troll for absolutely no reason whatever. I made it through the barrage of verbal accusations and threats, but shook for about an hour afterwards. You just know that you cannot so much as raise your shoulders or flare your nostrils without having the moron escalate his creative fiction and possibly deport you. They love that sense of power they get. You have to stand there submissively and not let them get a rise out of you all the while insisting that they are wrong.
In contrast, I have never had an issue with immigration or the equivalent of the TSA in any other country. I did once get a secondary interview at immigration in Europe by some shadowy figure from some secret service. It was as bizarre as you might imagine. He had the emblazoned vest, the earpiece, the whole kit, and he asked me random questions about my past. But it was polite, short, not at all frightening and it was pretty clear that he wasn't there looking for people like me. (Who knows what these people get up to. I'd not seen them at an airport before and have never seen them there since.)