Yet if you acquiesced to those bells and whistles and there were stability or security problems it would be much worse for you personally.

It sounds like you guys don't trust each other - they don't trust your ability to assess risk and you don't trust their ability to properly value features vs those risks. As a tech lead in those environments sometimes it helps to act like a lawyer, communicate the risks, let them make the decisions but cover your ass and get everything in writing.