I'm surprised at some of the comments that posit intent doesn't matter in communication. Intent matters a great deal: a question can be sarcastically rhetorical or earnest, a comment can be blunt-but-helpful or simply meant to hurt, a reply can be a defensive knee-jerk or a clarification of position. It's possible for the same string of words to be either of those alternatives, the choice made only by intent of the writer.
In physical communication there are many cues to indicate the intent of the speaker. Writers must provide those cues intentionally.
"I don't mean to be" is often (not always) lazy and meaningless, of course, but that doesn't imply intent doesn't matter.
I'm surprised at some of the comments that posit intent doesn't matter in communication. Intent matters a great deal: a question can be sarcastically rhetorical or earnest, a comment can be blunt-but-helpful or simply meant to hurt, a reply can be a defensive knee-jerk or a clarification of position. It's possible for the same string of words to be either of those alternatives, the choice made only by intent of the writer.
In physical communication there are many cues to indicate the intent of the speaker. Writers must provide those cues intentionally.
"I don't mean to be" is often (not always) lazy and meaningless, of course, but that doesn't imply intent doesn't matter.